Deep and Profound

I can only say that I got a lot out of all of this and I am grateful for it. I was struck by all of the concerns regarding the MLM and business/money issues and when I considered this, I thought of the bicameral tendencies I am still working against at times. When I started this journey and began to take my first steps into it, I was amazed by how many times when I read the heirlooms I came across something that my experiences had already shown me to be true. There has been a lot of deja vu for me in this journey. I have known what my Friday Night Essence is for most of my life. The problem has been how to get there. So I have tried and failed at many things and would give up periodically, only to have the FNE hound me and give me no rest till I would try again. It is for quality of life that I am still trying and have resolved that there is no turning back for me. I understand and have experienced what it’s like to live life without hope, just going through the motions, and all the very dark feelings that go along with that. There was a time, listening to the earlier levels, that I was thinking bicamerally; i.e., I need the Society to help me get to my FNE – what opportunity do they have where I will be able to do so? But now I have come to see that “if it is to be, it’s up to me”. I was working on this step again when Neothink came to me and I am working on a project to retire my job and allow myself to pursue the FNE full time and reach a position where I can help the Society much more conceivably than at present. This pursuit has actually set me back a little with my reading and these levels but I have gone back to them and am working on the best balance, and just working on being generally grateful about life – not dwelling on the past or moping about the present or even visualizing, but just working mentally to put myself in the best place to succeed. I have found you can work very hard but can kill your desired result with a bad attitude. I have a brain chemical balance that tends to leave me with one, but now I am aware of it and can take that into account. I don’t have a problem with the work, so I am focusing on doing what I have to differently to succeed this time, and things are looking good. If I were still thinking bicamerally, I would not be able to get past the problems enough to take the initiative and do what has to be done. I am grateful for the subsequent opportunities that have since opened up. But this meeting more than anything got me to see that I have made some progress and also where I have made it.